The Song of My Thoughts from the 08’ Election to Other Subjects

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

I’ve Left the Middle East to Study Abroad in Europe

'The half way point of my international adventure has arrived. It is my first week in Paris, France, yet my mind still thinks in Hebrew.

Leaving Israel was uncomfortable. Everything about 'the land' is so bitter-sweet for me, especially after becoming a part of Israeli society in almost every way. I traveled from the north to the south, interned at the Jerusalem Music Center and the Hand in Hand Schools, visited as many holy and historical sites as possible, spoke in Hebrew, played the violin and viola, tackled the job of being a counselor for 95 Israeli high school musicians, and lived life in an Israeli way. It is my homeland as much as anybody's and I am tired of others denying that right to Muslims, Christians, Bahia, and those like myself. I have not lost hope, as I do believe in institutions such as Hand in Hand and will continue to intern for them throughout the year, yet I am a bit more blue about the situation. Though Israel is six hours away from me now, the experiences I gained from my summer in Israel feel as close as yesterday.

Now I am in the land of past kings and queens, heavenly cheese and wine, waltzing FRENCH language, and one hell of a history. Even saying the introductory French phrase, "J'mapelle Shoshana", places an unforeseen delight of Francophone friction in my palate. Did I mention that it is practically the extent of my French studies?'

~Me (August 30, 2008)

Yes, that was me already over one month ago. Though it might not be visible in my comfy blogging style, it is only fair for me to describe my fear of leaving, all of a sudden, everything I knew for a different lifestyle that I was not sure how to organize (and without organization, I usually sink pretty quickly). In Israel, I had my family, my friends, my internships, and my belief of purpose in 'the land' as a Jew. But in Paris France, Jewish life is practically invisible, everybody dresses for the street runway, the language is NOT Hebrew or English, the Euro is very expensive, and all I could think to myself was, "Why am I here?". Being who I am though, I put myself 'in check' and knew that I must organize my life in Paris in order to make understanding of the grand picture. This is now what I am here to describe to you in this entry, my life in the New York of Europe: Paris, France.

Though study abroad is usually identified as a semester with fewer responsibilities and most likely semi-studious ambitions, I have not followed that trend quite to the tee. Though I am skipping my two hour, Monday through Friday, Sorbonne French class right now for reasons that will be explained later, as well as to enjoy probably one of the last bright sunny afternoons in this northern country, I have scheduled myself in basically every night of the week. The following is what I mean (and keep in mind that I live in the south side of Paris by Glaciere Metro in the 13^th arrondissement).

• Monday Night: Chamber music coaching at a Musique Conservatoire in the 7^th arrondissement by Invalides, the Eiffel Tower, and the Assemblee National.
• Tuesday Night: Salsa dancing class in the 20th arrondissement all the way on the east side of town.
• Wednesday Night: Rehearsal for chamber music at the conservatoire.
• Thursday Night: Sorbonne Orchestra rehearsal in the 17th arrondissement on the IV campus.
• Friday Night: Friday night Shabbat service with the lovely congregation, Kehilat Gesher, on the north-western side of town.
  

During the day, I am either practicing in my studio with a balcony and rambunctiously noisy elementary, middle, and high school in my backyard, attending my Communication Theory class at the American University of Paris, attending my two hour Sorbonne French class by Saint-Michel Metro across the street from the elegant Notre Dame, using the metro and exploring the city, buying fruit and veggies while exercising my Arabic at a local market, being a self-employed violinist in metro stations, reading, buying baguettes and croissants, studying for the my French and Communication classes on the second floors of different Starbucks in the city (as it is gratitude-free- to do so without purchase), and looking at all of the menus posted on the windows of interesting restaurants that I really cannot afford. On the weekends, I have fewer activities set in stone. On Saturday morning, I have a three hour Sorbonne Orchestra rehearsal, sometimes trips to the countryside with my study abroad company, doing laundry, listening to jazz and an Israeli radio station on the internet, sleeping, visiting the sites, chatting it up with my family and friends using my Skype subscription, etc.

I should also mention that my mind is also very busy too, yet not in France; it is busy in America. Continuously, it divulges into my possibilities for courses next semester at UM, what activities to participate in when finally home, what to perform on my junior recital, how to change my major to a Bachelor of Arts in Music from Violin Performance, whether and how to make the official switch to viola-or not, what type of internships and music festivals are of interest for next summer, and what the fuck to do if Barak Obama is not elected as President of the United States (do not fret, I already sent in my absentee ballot weeks ago with my vote of 'yes we can!').

As usual, things are coming together with their normal bumps along the way.

I finally had my first violin lesson today with a specialist in sophrology (the study of the harmony of consciousness) and the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto is coming along surprisingly well for learning it on my own so far. Though positive and uplifting, there is much to work on with the violin from what I learned in my lesson to the actual piece of repertoire.

My great Israeli uncle Chaim passed away two days ago and I have no choice but to mourn alone. He survived the Holocaust, married my grandmother's (savta) twin sister, and created a wonderful life for himself and his growing family. I know he had been suffering as of late and that it is probably better for him to be happy somewhere else. I will still miss him though and I hope that my family recovers from such a loss.

I am finally forming my thesis for my ten page communication theory paper, which is due on Friday as a two-three paged paper and French is coming along nicely too, even though my midterm yesterday was semi-unsettling. I also received in class yesterday my first French poem that I have to recite by memory tomorrow in class. It is so French and goes like this:

Tu dis que tu aimes les oiseaux (You say that you love the birds)

Tu les mets en cage. (you put it into a cage.)

Tu dis que tu aimes les fleurs (You say that you love the flowers)

Tu les coupes. (you vase it.)

Tu dis que tu aimes les passions (You say that you love the fish)

Tu les manges. (you eat it.)

Quand tu dis que tu m'aimes (When you say that you love)

J'ai peur. (I have fear.)

In the end, the events of this hard week are the reasons why I ended up skipping French class today and instead sleeping, writing this entry, and practicing for rehearsal. No, this is not the normal study abroad experience. I have too many responsibilities to go out every night and get wasted or travel every weekend to another European country. I am experiencing a REAL life here and not merely a college student's. With a few skipped classes, a few weekends away, a few drunken dinners with friends, a few Jewish holidays, a few family visits, a few sophrology violin lessons, and one intense use of the metro system, I am discovering every part of this multifaceted city known as Paris.

By the way, now my mind thinks in Hebrew and French at the same time!